Cheat days, detours, and self-respect
I've posted before about my weight loss journey. And like all journeys, sometimes there are detours. And by detours I mean periods of time where a cheat meal turns into a cheat week -- or month.
Granted, I am a firm believer in not depriving yourself. So I believe that having a "cheat meal" here and there is a good thing. Personally, it keeps me sane. Sometimes I just really want a cupcake -- like REALLY want a cupcake -- and it ends up being better for me to just eat it. Otherwise I lose my mind and end up bingeing for an entire weekend. Regardless, I haven't exactly been living a "healthy" lifestyle since sometime around late May. Between getting a puppy, gigs, packing/moving, and spending as much time with friends and family as possible........I got off track. But then it was all about getting settled, finding a job, and a number of other excuses. To be honest, I just didn't want to put in the effort.
DIET TIP: Your pants will never get too tight if you don't wear any.
Don't listen to me -- that's terrible advice. I just thought it was funny. But I apparently followed that mantra for the past several months. My pants got tight. Ugh.
So my little detour resulted in gaining some of the weight back that I had fought so hard to lose. Fortunately the amount pales in comparison to the total that had been lost, so it's not the end of the world. BUT.......I will never let myself go the way that I did before. I won't go back to that place. That place sucked. So I'm back on track, but I'm paying for my little detour. It's super easy to break good habits, but really hard to form them. So here we are again.
Enter Advocare. This gem of a product line was what kickstarted my weight loss in the very beginning -- more specifically their 24-day challenge. It helps to zap the water weight you're carrying around then goes on to help you lose a little more to jump start your weight loss. It involves various supplements and such, but mostly focuses on clean eating. You're not supposed to have coffee, which I generally have every day, so that sucks..........and you're not really supposed to drink, especially in the first 10 days, which really blows. It's all water weight I'm sure, but I'm already down 5 1/2 pounds and today is only day 5. So that's cool.
Why am I telling you about Advocare? Because I'm selling it!!!
I'm totally kidding -- I'm not selling anything. Advocare just happens to be my catalyst of choice for getting back on track. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE fries, pizza, greasy chinese food, pasta, ice cream, cupcakes, and many more things that are not waistline-friendly......but eating that way all the time makes me feel terrible. As I'm re-learning, it's all about moderation. But more importantly, it's about loving myself enough to take care of myself.
When you think about it, unless you have some sort of medical condition that makes it difficult to maintain a healthy lifestyle, isn't not taking care of yourself a form of abuse? I know it is for me. Before I decided to make a change back in 2014, I didn't have enough respect for myself to treat my physical self well, which bled into other parts of my life. I didn't like who I was then. The detour I've been on these past several months, while temporary, was a glimpse into the past -- and I didn't like it.
So like I did in the beginning, I'm making a change and committing to loving myself again. A tea bag inspired me to write this post, believe it or not. I'm a big fan of Yogi teas, and I love that each tea bag has a positive message on it. This is what yesterday's morning tea said to me:
So whatever it is that you need to do to live with self-respect, don't make excuses, just do it. Love yourself. Only then can you truly love others.
Will and I have gone through a lot of stuff in the past few years that has made us re-evaluate what's really important in life. Maybe part of it is the big move, but we both seem to appreciate our relationship and our time together now more than ever.
It got me thinking about being with the "right person" and what that means. How do you know that you've found the right person to spend your life with? Are they "right" because you love them, you have things in common, they make you happy, etc.? Well yes, but what about the other reasons why they are the right person? Here are a few of mine, as unconventional as they may be:
1) When you are painfully aware that if people saw how you truly behaved together, you'd probably have no friends.
For example, there was a time where we were goofing around in the kitchen (I'm fairly certain I started it), and we started slapping each other on the butt -- back and forth and back and forth. At the exact same time we rushed each other, and simultaneously started slapping each other on the butt while chasing each other in a circle. It's about the equivalent of a dog chasing its tail. Really dumb.
2) When you realize you've been using the same loofa for 4 years and it's funny instead of gross.
I know that at face value using the same loofa DOES in fact sound gross, but hear me out. We have one of those shower caddies with hooks to hang your loofa on, and his has always hung on the left and mine on the right. It always seemed odd to me how my loofa would get worn out so fast and his wouldn't -- but regardless, I would always buy him a new one when I bought one for myself. About a month or so ago we were drinking and hanging out, and at some point I told him that I had bought him a new loofa. This is how the conversation went from there:
Will: "Yeah, I saw the new green loofa earlier. Thanks for that."
Me: "No.....yours is the blue one. Mine is the green one. I always get you blue or turquoise or something."
Will: "Wait.....isn't your loofa on the left?"
Me: "No......mine has always been on the right."
Will: "No.....MINE has always been on the right."
Me: "No.....YOURS has always been on the left -- I know because I'm the one who puts them there..............DUDE! You've been using my loofa!!! For how long???"
Will: (A sheepish look spread across his face) "Ummmmm......4 years???"
Me: "WHAT???!!! (*laughing*) You're kidding!!! No wonder mine always looks so worn out. You've never touched yours! I keep throwing out brand new loofas!!!"
I now use the loofa on the left as to not confuse him further. (*face palm*)
3) When you support each other's passions to the point where you geek out about it to someone else.
Will geeks out about marching band and DCI, and then I find myself carrying on long conversations with other people about it. At one point I realized what was happening, stopped, and asked that person, "I know way too much about this, don't I?" They just looked confused and nodded in agreement.
I'm loving my new work, and I gush about it on a regular basis to Will. He then turns around and gushes about it to someone else. He loves that I'm doing something that makes me feel good. It's actually pretty cool.
4) When you have your own dumb language, accent, etc.
Somewhere along the way the word "foot" became "fooht." "Chicken" and "chips" sound like "cheeken" and "cheeps." "Stick" is also "steek." I honestly have no idea how any of this came about or who started it -- it just did, and it stuck. It's a miracle that we don't butcher the words in public. Somehow it stays within the confines of our little bubble -- thank God. That combined with our weird behavior would surely make us social pariahs.
5) You don't care what you're doing as long as you get to spend time together.
Especially during really busy weeks, we go through a sort of "withdrawal" if we don't get to see each other much. And as much fun as it is to go out and do various things, we seem to always have the most fun just hanging out and talking -- even after 5+ years. I guess that's the advantage of being with your best friend -- as goofy as he may be. But I love that goofball with all of my heart and soul. I'm a lucky girl.
I'm an "adult," or so I've been told. I do "adult" things, I have an "adult" job, I pay bills, and I drink bourbon and wine. I have great friends and family, an amazing husband, and generally a pretty good life. I have achieved many things, yet so little at the same time. I'm in my 30s, yet I feel more clueless than when I graduated college. This is how I "adult."