DISCLAIMER: I started this blog post back in September (hence the date) and then life got in the way. You know how it goes. Someday I'll regularly post blogs again......someday..........
You know the mantra that's been going around -- no bad days? I love it, I really do, and I have desperately been trying to keep it in the forefront of my mind. I have so much to be thankful for -- life is good, right? But honestly, it's not that simple. Sometimes all the positive thoughts and vibes you can muster are just not enough. So unfortunately there are bad days. It sucks, but it's true.
Life has done a pretty good job at throwing me the usual curveballs -- especially the ones that involve unexpected costs. Those are my favorite (*insert sarcasm*). Good job life. I didn't need that money for anything else. You take it -- it's cool. I've got one of those super awesome money trees -- it's GREAT! I digress..........
So on top of those things life also decided to throw some "fun" little extras on top of the wood pile, douse it with lighter fluid, then light the f-er on fire. En fuego. So there have indeed been some bad days. Here are just a few examples:
1) I love my dogs way too much. Both of them have had eye problems in the past two months that have had the potential to damage their vision permanently. Mozzie was first. And was I level headed when I found out this news? Absolutely not. Well, I was until I left the vet and got into the car, but then my eyes sprung a leak and didn't stop for an obscene amount of time. After Mozzie's first appointment I sat at home, staring at him and crying for like an hour. He had NO idea what was going on or what was wrong with me. Same thing happened with Phoebe weeks later, but hers actually got worse when she had a bad reaction to the recommended eye drops. Overnight she looked like she had gone blind. She got better, but then she had another flare up and it's just been a little scary. You would think these dogs came from my womb the way that I act -- I clearly have issues.
2) There are several important people in my life that are all dealing with situations that make my dogs' eye problems look like a freakin' paper cut. They are not my stories to share, so I won't. I just love them so much and I wish I could do more. I wish I could make it all go away -- wave a magic wand and poof, make everything better. But these hands are exactly that -- hands, not wands. I wish I had freakin' wands for hands. Well, maybe not all the time........that would make several things difficult.......but you know what I mean.
3) To top it off, I apparently have the blood pressure of a 65 year old black man who’s been smoking his whole life. I was hanging out at the gynecologist, like you do -- wearing one of those OH so wonderful paper gowns -- waiting for the doctor to do a normal annual exam. The nurse comes in to tell me that my blood pressure is scary high and that they were thinking about sending me to the hospital instead of going ahead with the appointment. I felt fine, but apparently it was really bad. They agreed to go ahead with the appointment on one condition: that I get medicine called in, pick it up and go home immediately following my appointment. They also mentioned something about sitting in a dark room with no noise........So that’s fun. Yet another reminder that I need to get serious about losing the rest of the weight and make smarter choices.
Life has a weird way of trying to remind you what your priorities should be. Lately I've been distracted by things that are SO not important, so I did indeed need a reminder, but leave my people and my pugs alone -- please and thank you.
Anyway, the moral of the story is that I need to stop focusing on stupid stuff, enjoy the wonderful things and people (and pugs) in my life, and kick my butt into high gear as far as health so my heart doesn’t explode. Solid advice. Things happen that are out of our control -- and they suck -- but it's certainly easier to weather those things if we focus on what we can control and what is important in life. So there are bad days.......feh..........screw em'. Maybe that should be the mantra........"Bad days. Screw em'."
I'm an "adult," or so I've been told. I do "adult" things, I have an "adult" job, I pay bills, and I drink bourbon and wine. I have great friends and family, an amazing husband, and generally a pretty good life. I have achieved many things, yet so little at the same time. I'm in my 30s, yet I feel more clueless than when I graduated college. This is how I "adult."