The entire reason I started this blog -- which for better or worse has become a thing I do just whenever I feel like it -- was because of the concept of "adulting" and how I "adult." As I approach my 30s this concept becomes even more convoluted to me. I'm starting to think that "adulting" is just something you make up as you go -- that we never truly figure it out. There are many moments where I have no idea what I'm doing. I act like I do, but really I'm just quick on my feet and know how to google things. Much of my adulthood has been spent learning how to do things on the fly and hoping for the best.
I've been an adult for awhile now, so now that I'm approaching 30 I'm starting to get really annoyed with one question in particular, which is always asked by "adultier" adults (aka older). "So what's next for you?" Well, I just figured this part out, so why don't we see how this goes for awhile......mmm'kay?
What's next??? That's something you ask someone about to graduate high school or college. When you're about to graduate high school you have this "plan," which makes the universe laugh at you and go, "okay, ha (*pats your head*), no," but nonetheless you have a plan. It makes you feel better about your life, albeit temporary. When you're about to graduate college, you mostly just want to be done with classes and have no idea what you're really going to do. Again, you may have a plan, but this time you have to rely on other people to hire you so you can make enough money to pay off that expensive school you just went to. Despite all of that, at those phases in your life you generally have some sort of plan or idea of what you want to do.
My experience is that once you actually get out there in the real world there is no such thing as a plan. You have to roll with the punches and figure out how to be scrappy, otherwise you will drown. You'll drown in debt, lack of self-worth, and lack 0f self-realization, among other things. Apparently your 20s are where you are supposed to figure out how to keep your head above water, and learn how to act your butt off in order to deal with the political BS and the crazy personalities that will inevitably flood your life.
The silver lining is that you do learn. Sure, I still have to make things up as I go on occasion, and I may not know "what's next," but I've learned that life is not nearly as complicated as we try to make it. I've learned that career and money aren't everything -- that people and the simple things in life are what are truly worth living for. I've learned that you shouldn't let what other people think define any part of your life, and if you live your life to please others they will suck you dry -- so don't.
There is no dummies guide for how to be an adult, and no one can tell you the "secret" to being happy and fulfilled in life -- because there isn't one. You have to figure it out for yourself and find a way to filter out the noise. One of the most important things that I've learned is that what happiness and fulfillment looks like for you is not necessarily what it looks like for me -- there is no "one size fits all." I've learned that yoga, long walks on a beautiful day, sunshine, the coastal breeze, a clean house, clean sheets, playing piano and singing, learning new music, potatoes, cupcakes, coffee, Jameson, good wine, good conversation, pugs (especially Mozzie) and Will make me very happy.
It's okay to make plans, and you probably should to a certain extent, but as we all know....things generally don't always go according to plan. It's also okay if you don't know exactly what you're doing all the time or what's next -- you'll figure it out. The bottom line is that you will never stop learning and you will never know all the answers. Sure, things like google can help from time to time, but you won't always find the content you're looking for. Turns out that "adulting" is just living life the best way that you can.
I'm an "adult," or so I've been told. I do "adult" things, I have an "adult" job, I pay bills, and I drink bourbon and wine. I have great friends and family, an amazing husband, and generally a pretty good life. I have achieved many things, yet so little at the same time. I'm 30, yet I feel more clueless than when I graduated college. This is how I "adult."